With my work training date fast approaching, I am acutely aware of the imminent end of the days of lazy freedom that have characterized the majority of my last two months. The weeks following the submission of my master's dissertation have been such a whirlwind. I have been in Bristol, in Hertford, in London, in the United States. There have been parties and nights out, skype chats, many books, phone calls, long walks, stacks of paperwork, and alternating periods of busy activity and the kind of intense stillness that makes you itch. But, in the past few days, especially, I have become increasingly conscious of my own mood as I leave the house each day. And what I have concluded is this - I am ridiculously happy.
It's rare, I think, to be able to walk outside every day and to be continually amazed by the way the sun shines on the river or how the colors of the leaves stand out against the green of the grass or how a strong, autumn wind can suddenly change the shape of the landscape around you. I'm not saying that I was unhappy before now and, generally, I'm not a negative person, but it's just.... different. When I walk through town I see little kids toddling along with their parents, barely able to walk on their own, with these round eyes and massive grins on their faces for no apparent reason. And I think, YES. THAT. That is how I feel. Like a child seeing everything for the first time, marveling at how huge the world is and being interested in every little crack in the pavement.
I have enjoyed all of my time in England, but recently experienced a period of semi-mourning after I returned from a trip home and suddenly missed everything about Michigan in the fall. The cider mills that hold so many family memories, the unbelievable colors (not quite the same over here) and smell of the changing leaves, the delicious pumpkin-ey flavors that don't seem to have crossed the Atlantic just yet. I still miss all of these things, but it is nice to feel a renewed sense of enthusiasm that is completely wrapped up in my life here, in England. I think this may be due, in part, to my increasing independence in this new home. It is also due, I am certain, to the wonderful people that I am fortunate enough to be acquainted with and who have made me feel so welcome since my arrival last year.
Whatever the cause of these daily feelings of excitement and deep contentment, I am determined not to take them for granted. I promise myself to remember them during every little part of my day - whether working, baking, traveling, volunteering, or ambling. I hope that keeping them in mind will motivate me to make the best of every situation and maybe even give back to the people and things that have made me feel this way in the first place.
So, now, in honor of my current disposition and keeping with this very sunshine-y post, a very sunshine-y song for your listening delight.
I hope you all are finding your very own happiness, wherever you are.