"It is a dark day in England" - B.H.

Hello all. I was intending to post a new blog entry earlier this week and was, in fact, kicking myself Wednesday morning for not already having done so. But things can change so quickly and after having to put our little chick down Wednesday afternoon I just couldn't bring myself to write. I also didn't really know what to write. I had only just posted an announcement about her arrival and she was already gone. The idea of having to see these two posts on the same page was...daunting, to say the least.

I've never been overly sensitive when it comes to these things. I have always been a rational person and while I do get sad I am usually able to focus on the positive aspects of the past and the potential of the future. But this has been different. I can't help but feel like I should have been more careful, more protective. Everyone says "nature is cruel," but in this case I honestly feel as though I could have done more to keep her safe, until she was old enough to take care of herself. I just feel so guilty and I can't seem to shake it.

Needless to say, the last few days have been far more difficult than I could have anticipated. I know there will be people who don't understand that. She was, after all, a chicken... I know that some people think that broadcasting these kinds of things over the internet is unnecessary and, possibly, a ploy for attention. But I just don't see how I could have written another post about baking cookies, as if something horrible hadn't happened, when this is all I've been able to think about.

So there it is. Not really a post for anyone else - but more for myself, to acknowledge that for a few days we had this really wonderful, young, vivacious thing. She was instantly adored and added an extra, warm glow to 37d. And I wish she was still here.


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