Four months - a little bit of positivity, a little bit of reality.

I have to say, the last month has been somewhat of a dream. I knew that with age would come growth and change, but it has been even more exciting and awesome than I could have imagined. A big part of this was the three weeks that we spent in Michigan - introducing Frida to our friends and family there. I wasn't sure how she would do with all of the new faces and busy days, but she really thrived.

We are really grateful to everyone that made time for us while we were home and so glad that they go to meet Frida at such a fun time. She changed so much and defied all of my expectations for her. When we arrived, she was like a little mouse carefully peering out of a hole in the wall and when we left she was like a new baby - sleeping better, eating better and really coming out of her shell.

Now a week back in the UK and a combination of jet lag (hers and ours), transitioning out of her swaddle (may re-evaluate this) and the third round of immunisations seems to have negated all of the progress that she made. Or maybe she's just in one of these 'regressions' everyone keeps going on about (insert palm to forehead emoji here).

Our first night home, she crashed out and slept what I would reasonably expect from someone who can't understand why its dark outside at what should be 2pm and I thought, "hey, well, that's not so bad," but it was only downhill from there.

Her sleep has been so bad this week that I have reverted to some of my old bad habits and the laziness of the early days. I have been forced to readopt the "sleep when they sleep" motto, which, honestly, is much less appealing now when I know what it's like to feel reasonably rested and to actually get things done during the day. 

I'm also finding it difficult to follow this as her bedtime is much earlier these days. In fact, the only reason I'm not sleeping right now is because it's 7pm and I actually just looked outside and thought to myself, "S*%t, I am never going to be able to drift off now." Hopefully by 8?

In addition to her sleep mutiny, she's been a lot more clingy over the last few days - whining whenever I set her down and refusing to be engaged by anything visual for more than a few moments. Bit of a bummer as this makes trying to get out of the house a nightmare again.

But it couldn't all be hearts and flowers, could it? The serenity and bliss that was month four had to come to an end at some point. And let me be clear that I am in no way attributing any of her regression to our being back in the UK. The days are always going to be easier when they are filled with a revolving door of new experiences and when both parents are on hand 24/7. 

To be honest, she's probably just whinging out of boredom most of the time and I can't really blame her. No fun to be suddenly engaged with the world, but not be able to do much physically about it. I'll have to start looking into some more "mommy and me" stuff to fill our time. Or else I'll just stick her in front of The Gilmore Girls. 

Whatever works ;)

- A -