Things people don't tell you about your wedding: Part 1.

Just trying to get a breeze under that dress.

I have been wanting to write a short series on my wedding and wedding planning for some time now. Anyone who has gone through the process knows that you basically become an expert by the end and I'll bet I'm not the only one who feels like I could write a whole book about my experiences. In reality, I know that it takes a lot more than just planning your own wedding to become a successful and widely regarded wedding professional and I am totally not willing to do any of the work, so you can just have my thoughts... on here... for free. Your welcome.

Wedding Truth #1: You and your partner will probably be the most uncomfortable people at the wedding.

I know that when I am planning on attending a wedding as a guest, I take a lot of things into consideration when choosing my outfit - time of year, weather, venue, potential menu, alcohol factor, likelihood of pulling club-worthy dance moves by the end of the evening, etc. Comfort has always been a priority for me and I like to know that I am going to be able to fully enjoy the experience.

This all tends to go out the window at your own wedding, however, when suddenly what you wear becomes an integral part of the day and, sometimes, comfort gives way to fashion, or theme, or the driving desire that some of us have to look like a motherf*%$ing elven princess (guilty). Even the most comfort-seeking among us are probably going to sacrifice a bit of this for the outfit or the makeup or the hair or the shoes. If I haven't touched upon your "thing" yet, just you wait. I promise. There will be something.

I still think I did pretty well where all of this was concerned. My dress was relatively light and very danceable - anything less would have been a deal breaker for me. I was also VERY lucky that the weather was as beautiful as it was. I had purchased a multi-layered dress with lace and corset, the whole shebang, for a mid-summer, outdoor wedding in the midwest - which is basically just tempting the gods of heat and humidity. On the day, however, the air was mild and breezy, and there was a perfect mixture of sun and shade.

Even with the weather on my side, I still had a few moments of "uhhh" *nervous giggles* "just what exactly is happening here??" One of these was when my mother and bridesmaids were trying to lace up my dress in a hall where there had just been a bustle of activity, warming up the air, and I was suddenly feeling very, very hot. There is a really funny series of photos from this time, where I am obviously trying to think cool thoughts and then my photographer asks us to smile and it's like, Ping!

One of my favorite photos from the whole day also comes from this series and it was a really special moment to me, even as it was happening. The laces on my corset had been done up and then undone again and I was starting to sweat. I remember thinking, "This cannot be happening before the wedding has even started!" and just desperately trying to stay calm. I was standing very still, staring off into the distance, imagining an ice cave and concentrating on steadying my breath when, suddenly, one of my sisters came into view, reached over, adjusted some bits of makeup with her fingers and brushed a strand of hair out of my face.

Sweet angel baby sister.

It was such a sweet and tender moment - one of those times that reminds you how lucky you are to be alive and to be here and to have such wonderful people in your life. That simple action meant so much that it really did help calm me down and I was absolutely delighted to find that it had been captured by our photographer.

Luckily for me that was probably the height of my discomfort. Everything worked out reasonably well and the fact that the best that my hair looked all day was at the hair salon was lost in the grander scheme of things, but it easily could have gone the other way. That moment could have been just the beginning and I would have had no choice but to deal with it.

The reality is that no matter how lucky you get weather-wise and whatever you choose to wear it is highly likely that it won't be the most comfortable thing that has ever caressed your bod and the best that you can do is to get ready for what may come. Some people swear by baby powder and extra strength deodorant. Others will tell you it's all about the undergarments. Whichever way you go and however prepared you are, don't be surprised when discomfort sneaks up on you anyway. Accept the moment and let it pass. Take some deep breaths, have a seat, demand that someone fetch you a cool drink and then move on. No need to let it ruin your day.

'Sup fresh air.



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