Thoughts on thinking.


I took this photo last year, probably sometime in late October. It doesn't look like this in Hertford yet, but for whatever reason it seems like the fall feeling has been creeping in for a while now. Or maybe it's just me - anticipating the arrival of what seems to have become my favorite season. It used to always be spring, I think. Or maybe the time that flows from the end of spring into the early summer. This was probably due in part to my birthday being in mid-May. But I've also always been partial to the heat of the sun, and the color and smell of blooming freshness. Yet, somehow, over the last few years I have grown more and more partial to the autumn. I find myself taking more walks during these months. Not to mention engaging in increased amounts of self-reflection. Maybe this is because most of the major transitional periods that have taken place over the last three years for me have fallen during this time. Whatever the cause, my preference for autumn has grown so much that I seem to be able to feel it before it even arrives.

Sorry for the introspection. Once again, I have some big changes coming up - and the next few months are going to be like one, long transition. In case you hadn't heard yet, which many of you may not have, I'm headed back to the U.S. in December. This time for a long time. Indefinitely. Until whenever will be whenever. So, yeah. There we are. It feels a bit strange. I have never been a real adult in the states. Never held a real, full-time job. Never had to worry about my own life insurance. Ah, adulthood.

As always, though, looking forward. There is a lot that I am excited for. A lot I want to do and see. And everything seems to be an omen, a sign. This past Sunday, whilst flicking through the TV channels I stumbled upon one of my old favorites - Pocahontas (told you I was a Disney princess). The movie was right at the part where John Smith is being carted off to his ship on a stretcher and Pocahontas is debating over whether or not to accompany him when her father sagely declares, "You must choose your own path." Powerful stuff. So simple, yet so wise.

Basically, what this all means is that, as per usual, I have no idea what is next. I only know what I have to do (legally, really) and hopefully everything else will fall into place.

Love.

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